A Lesson on Helping: An Experience from Jordan – ‘You Amerikee?’

My military deployments have deeply shaped my worldview. Even the simplest interactions have offered me valuable lessons in leadership and life.

The story below ties into one of the most fundamental thoughts I believe to be true:

Leaders do not have the luxury of minding their own business. Thus, it is my job to care about others!

On my 3rd deployment to the Middle East, I was a Platoon Sergeant with Military Police soldiers scattered throughout 6 countries (Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Bahrain, UAE, Qatar -with a sprinkle into Syria and Egypt). I would travel from country to country and do site visits to check on my troops and our mission.

One day, I was travelling alone and trying to blend in as a civilian traveller in Amman, Jordan. Standing in the security line, I saw an older woman struggling with her bags near the conveyor belt.

Naturally, I helped her with her bags on her cart and lifted them to the belt for the X-ray machine.

Let’s be real, this is NOT special. This is standard. Every able-bodied friend I know would have done the same exact thing. My friends are leaders in the world. This means we don’t mind our own business. It is our job to care for others. If YOU are reading this, I believe YOU would do the exact same thing. Small stuff here.

When I loaded them on for her, she had broken English but she clearly said ‘Thank you. You can always find people to help.’

I smiled and the security process continued.

I was a few people behind her and this is a busy area with many people. On the other side of the security check, I saw her struggling alone (despite many people around) attempting to take her heavy bags and load them back onto the cart.

It took me a moment to get through security but as soon as I did, I found myself helping her with her bags to get them back on her cart.

The woman was so sweet and sincere again and she smiled and nodded her head as if pleased and she again said ‘you always find someone to help’.

I simply smiled at her.

Then, she looked at me and tilted her head slightly and said, ‘You Amerikee?’

She was speaking a little English to me already so I wondered why this question was coming out now?

I said ‘’yes’’. Her response was simple: ‘That is why.’

Call me a baby if you want, but I almost burst into tears. But, you have to understand the next thought to understand why….

Have you ever sacrificed everything you have to be a leader, a servant, or a helper in this world only to find that you are often met with judgment, hate, and criticism?

If you are a leader or a coach in any area, I imagine you have experienced this in some capacity.

Sure, we can all look to ‘the man in the arena’ and get a recharge to go to battle and know that they don’t ’get it’ so the criticism should not challenge our mission. But, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sometimes hurt the heart.

At this point, I had spent nearly 3 years of my life in the Middle East. Often being ‘Amerikee’ is not seen as a positive thing. I have been both hated and loved depending on the moment in the day, simply because of the flag on my shoulder.

So, when this woman connected me being American to my helping her when she said ‘that is why’, I felt appreciated for what I love about being ‘Amerikee’. I felt seen as a loving helper in this world. The kind I try to be as I represent our flag and country. The kind of American (the kind of HUMAN) I was raised to be.

The America I know is full of love and helpers who are positive leaders in the world.

This was a simple interaction, but, in it I felt seen for the heart I have and the heart I want those who wear our flag to represent: A heart for helping others.

‘You can always find people to help.’ ‘You Amerikee?’ ‘That is why.’ 🫶

Take aways:

1. Leadership is easily demonstrated by being a HELPER. Leaders actively seek opportunities to help others, regardless of the scale of the situation.
2. You represent your family, team, community, and country wherever you go. Take pride in your ability to impact their reputation (and yours) positively through the values you embody.